Car Rental Agent: Welcome to Hertz, may I help you?
Agent: How may I help you?
Us: You can start by wiping that f'ing dumb-ass smile off your rosy, f'ing cheeks! Then you can give me a f'ing automobile, a f'ing Datsun, a f'ing Toyota, a f'ing Mustang, a f'ing Buick! Four f'ing wheels and a seat!
Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Us: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of f'ing nowhere with the f'ing keys to a f'ing car that isn't f'ing there. And I really didn't care to f'ing walk down a f'ing highway and across a f'ing runway to get back here to have you smile at my f'ing face. I want a f'ing car RIGHT F'ING NOW!
Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Us: I threw it away.
Agent: Oh boy.
Us: Oh boy what?
Agent: You're f'ed!
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